18 Months vs. 15 Years...

I have written many posts describing a therapist who has treated several dozen BPD couples. He said that BPD relationships typically last 18 months or 15 years. They last 18 months, he explained, when the Non is healthy and has strong personal boundaries. In that case, the Non enjoys the 6 month passionate honeymoon and is willing to work for up to a year trying to reestablish the honeymoon. Then he bails.

The relationship last 15 years, he explains, when the Non has weak personal boundaries, being codependent. In that case, the Non never does leave. Instead, the BPD leaves him because each year she grows increasingly resentful that he did not fix her or make her happy. Moreover, as her body ages, she becomes increasingly fearful of abandonment.

--http://www.psychforums.com/borderline-personality/topic36357.html


word! This makes so much sense it hurts.